Shattered Glass
by onekalara
Summary: In response to Snarky's Random Challenge. A little dive into Jordan's mind as she considers her relationship with JD!
1. Shower

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own anything to do with Crossing Jordan – Only the video tapes with the episodes on them! Crossing Jordan belongs to Tailwind and NBC – but I will be forever grateful this show was put onto air! I also do not own any other previously written characters that happen to appear!

**A/N**: This is my first fic, it was an ideal that had been rolling around in my head for a while and when Snarky posted her Random Challenge on Coffeerooms I decided that I would attempt to write what I would love to see happen between Jordan and JD! See if you can pick the 3 things from the list!

Enjoy, Review and let me know what you think!

Jordan hadn't slept properly in years, but this night it wasn't her usual nightmares that were keeping her awake, it was the soft snores of the man lying next to her. _It was alright for him, he didn't have to listen to himself_, she thought to herself as she rolled over to look at the time. It was 5:37am, she groaned quietly, swung her legs over the bed and walked towards the bathroom, she didn't have to be at work until 7:30am, it would give her time to have an extra long shower, and use up the majority of the water just to spite him.

As she turned on the water to let it heat up Jordan began to think, _she was actually going to use up the water just to annoy him, this was not a rational action, and his soft snores two weeks ago did not keep her awake, far from it, they had actually become a comfort, so why did she now find them so aggravating_, she slipped off her night dress and climbed into the now very hot shower.

As the water began to flow down her back her mind sank deeper into thought, _they had been dating a number of weeks now, it was the longest romantic relationship she had had since Tyler, and that was almost five years ago, last she had heard he had a couple of kids and was happily married_, she stopped herself from thinking anymore about Tyler, it was still an unresolved topic, in her mind more than her heart, she turned back to the problem at hand, JD.

JD, the man she had been sharing her bed with for four weeks, he had spent almost every night there, he also managed to find the spare key she kept at the back of the draw at her desk at the morgue, she couldn't believe he had gone through her desk, that was her space, as Jordan reached for the shampoo she pondered this, _that was when it had started, the agitation with him, it was that moment, the moment she came home to find JD there, ok, he was cooking dinner and had a glass of Lindeman's finest shiraz waiting for her, but still, he should not have gone through her office. S_he supposed as a reporter it was his nature, but that didn't excuse him, and she had let him know it too, if he wasn't so charming, Jordan cursed herself as she thought about how easily she had let him off the hook.

As she reached for the conditioner she recalled how he had traced her cell phone to find out where she was, _ok, so in the process he may have saved her life, it was the sole reason she managed to forgive him. She still didn't understand why he did it, she told him she was working, she didn't tell him she would be at the morgue, he had assumed that himself. And she did shoot him in the arm, that was accidental_, Jordan let out a little giggle, _she didn't mean to shot him, she was aiming for Kessler, but still_…

Jordan continued to let the water flow over her as her thoughts turned to the events of two weeks ago and how JD treated her friend, _or her 'ex almost-something', that was the best way to describe her relationship with Woody,_ she considered this thought for a while_, what was Woody, was he her friend? They had barely exchanged any pleasant words in months, he seemed to have more issues these days than she did_, Jordan held a sad smile, she wished she could turn back time, to how things were in June, they were friends, _Woody was good company, he made her laugh, he understood her crusades, he knew how to hold her back before she got herself into real trouble, JD wasn't like Woody, he was something else altogether._

Steam had now filled the bathroom, Jordan couldn't see anything in front of her, but there was a peace in just letting the water cascade down her back, she closed her eyes as she turned back to the problem of JD, _she still couldn't believe he wrote the article accusing Woody of planting evidence, granted she had thought the same, but she didn't go and tell the whole of Boston that he was a dirty cop!_ This made Jordan angry, two weeks after the fact and she was still mad at him_, she still hadn't forgiven him for putting Woody's career in jeopardy, what ever she and Woody were these days he had no right, she didn't care if it was his 'duty' as a reporter to report! The paper did print a retraction, and she knew that JD had personally apologized to Woody, but it didn't matter, Woody would still be seen, by some as a dirty cop. _

As Jordan stepped out of the shower and began to dry herself, she replayed the argument she had had with JD about that article, _she had told him she hated his job, he all but accused her of being in love with Woody, telling her once again that love was like malaria, Jordan recalled how she told him not to assume things he knew nothing about. _JD had slept on the couch that night, he had made her breakfast and dinner for the next week in a vein attempt to apologize, she let him back into her bed, but in the back of her mind she still hadn't really forgiven him.

As Jordan got dressed in her usual jeans and shirt, she looked over at JD, he was still snoring and it still bugged her. As she began to walk towards the kitchen to get her morning fix of coffee she glanced at the alarm clock it was 7:15, she had been in the shower a hour and a half, and now she was going to be late for work! She reset the alarm for JD, she may have used all the hot water, but it wouldn't be fair to make him be late for work, no matter how frustrated she was with him. Jordan grabbed her cell phone, her keys and the case files she had brought home the night before, Garret had begun to threaten her, so it was out of necessity she had brought them home rather than out of choice. Jordan jumped into her El Camino, turned on the engine and headed towards the morgue.

As she drove towards work, Jordan's mind began to wander once again, she thought of the question she posed to JD the previous night. She had asked him to look into her eyes and tell her what he saw; she still wondered what possessed her to ask him that question. She thought about what Laura Bennett had said to her, Laura knew what love was, and how she knew if she really loved a person. So _why did I ask JD the question?_ Jordan thought to herself, _she didn't love him, she knew that herself, but was it more to do with the fact she wanted to see if he loved her?_ They had had sex that night, but it was just that, sex, it wasn't making love, it was sex. As Jordan rounded the corner and drove into the morgue parking lot, she pushed the thoughts from her mind; she had a busy day ahead of her, and didn't need the analysis of her relationship with JD playing in her head. She grabbed the case files and headed up to the morgue,

"Nice to see you so early Jordan"

"Morning Garret" she responded dryly as she headed towards her office.


	2. Caffeine Fix

It wasn't until Jordan had her hand on the door to her office that she realized that Garret had followed her;

"Look Garret, I know I'm late, I didn't mean to be, I got distracted…"

Garret gave her a look; she knew exactly what he was thinking,

"Not that distracted!"

"Look, I'm too busy to get into that with you" replied Garret sharply, "I've got Walcott waiting…"

"Walcott?" Jordan interrupted, "What happened to Renee?"

Garret ignored her and continued on,

"Did you finish writing the autopsy report on Mr. Peru, Walcott wants to put the case to rest and I can't until you give me the report, so I can sign off on it."

"I finished it" replied Jordan, deciding it was best not to aggravate him any further, she rummaged through the files she had just placed on her desk looking for the file on the renowned jewel thief Ortega Peru, he had been shot by a cop mid robbery the day before, and Jordan knew that Walcott just wanted to confirm that there hadn't been any foul play on the cops part.

"Jordan…" Garret said impatiently, as she continued to search.

"It's not here Garret, I must have left it at home"

"Jordan, I have Walcott on my ass about this, plus another twelve bodies to sign out, Sydney has called in sick, again, and right now you are giving me a headache!" Jordan knew Garret's temper was rising.

"Gee, Garret, and I thought I had issues with caffeine! Look, I'll call Pollack and get him to drop the file in on his way to the paper."

"Fine… and you have a body in trace, some idiot swam into the goal posts during a water polo game last night." responded Garret as he turned and walked out of her office. Jordan picked up her cell and called JD; she didn't feel like talking to him but knew that she had to get the file before Garret really got mad.

"Pollack" a sleepy voice answered,

"Morning"

"Morning babe, I missed you this morning" he replied in his smooth Australian accent,

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that, I had to get to work" Jordan responded, maybe a little too quickly, "listen, I need you to do me a favor…"

"Sure, anything for you Cavanaugh"

"I think I left a file on the table. Garret is on my ass about it, can you bring it down here on your way to the paper?"

"I'll be there quicker than a Holden Ute!"

"A what?"

"Never mind" replied Pollack, chuckling to himself knowing full well that his American girlfriend wouldn't no what a Ute was, never mind a Holden Ute, "I'll be there soon"

"See you then" answered Jordan, she snapped her cell phone shut, stood up and went to change into her scrubs so she could head to trace as soon as Pollack arrived with the file. _That is a good excuse_; she thought to herself, _if she had to get into trace it mean that she didn't have to talk with him_.

By the time Jordan had changed, tied up her long hair and grabbed a long overdue caffeine fix from the break room, JD was heading toward her office,

"Hey, Pollack" said Jordan, almost having to force herself to be pleased to see him,

"Cavanaugh" replied JD, turning and smiling at her, as Jordan approached him, he lowered his head and kissed her. Jordan received his kiss, and pulled back,

"Did you get the file?" she asked

"Yeah, it's right here," he replied, holding up the manila folder "Are you 'right?"

"I'm fine, why?" she responded maybe slight too curtly.

"No reason," JD answered, holding his hands up in defense, "You seem agitated"

"There's nothing wrong, I'm just busy and Garret's been chewing my ass over this file."

"Something important is it?" inquired JD. Jordan realized he was fishing,

"Just a sign out, there's no story in it for you" said Jordan, attempting to sound casual, she knew that the file she now held in her hand was front page gold, the DA's office and the Boston Police department were keeping the true nature of Ortega Peru's death quiet, and JD would love to get his hands on the story. "Look, I have work to do, I have a body in trace… actually you might want to do a story on it… the stupid things people do" attempting to deflect JD's mind away from the file, she gave him a quick kiss and turned on her heel and walked into trace, with the door swinging behind her she heard JD call out,

"Oh yeah, what did they do?"

Jordan laughed quietly to herself. She walked past the body lying on the slap waiting for her, wincing as she saw the 3inch dent in the man's head, obviously from the corner of the goal post; she pushed through the opposite doors and headed towards Garret's office with the file.

"Dr. Cavanaugh" the distinct voice of the District Attorney greeted her as she walked into her boss's office "Nice to see you finally have what I came for."

"Renee, nice to see you this morning" Jordan responded sarcastically. It was no secret that there was no love lost between the DA and Jordan, Jordan wasn't quite sure when animosity began, or why, but it had always been there "Here's the file you requested, shot square in the heart from 10feet, does that clear up any questions?"

"Anything else I should know before I write this off as justifiable?"

"Only that the splatter patterns and angle of the entry wound suggests that Mr. Peru was moving forward at the time he was shot" Jordan replied to the DA's question.

"Thank you Jordan"

"You're welcome Renee"

Jordan then turned and walked back to trace, she looked at the crushed skull of the water polo player and sighed, the thoughts she had had in the shower came flowing back, she picked up the digital camera and began to work on the body.

The rest of Jordan's shift passed without incident, by mid afternoon she changed out of her scrubs, went to her office grabbed her things and headed home, to JD, she groaned slightly, and decided that she needed to be alone that evening, she hoped JD would understand.


	3. Trouble Brewing

Jordan turned the key and pushed the heavy red door to her apartment open, it was quiet. She walked around and breathed, it felt like she hadn't breathed in weeks, she walked to the refrigerator, grabbed a beer and sat on the couch.

_Luckily_, Jordan thought, _JD had understood that she needed to be alone that night, though he sounded disappointed on the phone, she reminded him that it had been at least a week since he had been back to his apartment and that she wasn't his mother and she wouldn't do his laundry for him. _And now she was alone, she was able to stretch out and do nothing; Jordan closed her eyes and slept.

When she finally awoke, her full beer bottle still in her hand, Jordan looked over at the clock, it was 9pm, _so much for the evening of alone time_, she thought, deciding she was hungry Jordan grabbed her phone and called _Changs_ for some MooShu Pork. While waiting for her food to be delivered Jordan had a quick shower and threw on her favorite duck pajamas. Just as she finished changing the sheets on her bed there was a knock at the door, her food had arrived.

Sitting back down on the couch, Jordan's thoughts returned to her relationship with JD and the events that had transpired over the past few weeks. _JD wasn't the man of her dreams, but he was great in bed, an intimacy she had been missing since Tyler, she glossed over the fling she has with a District Attorney four years ago. JD was also good to her, he brought her coffee, he made her smile – most days, why then did he annoy her so much?_ Jordan was stuck on this point, _why didn't she feel 'it'? _She thought back to her mom, Jordan still remembered one small piece of advice her mom had given her about love _'You'll know love Jordan, when you feel it in your stomach, your mind and your heart, all at once'_.

Thoughts continued to plague Jordan as she climbed into bed an hour later, though when her eyes finally closed her mind was blank, for the first time that day.

Jordan reached her arm out from under her bed covers picked up the ringing phone and immediately slammed it back down. _My shift doesn't start until 9_, she thought to herself as she rolled over, glancing briefly at her alarm clock which read 6:59, Jordan groaned, her alarm would be going off in 30 minutes, she closed her eyes again.

Just as the tops of her eyes lids had hit the bottom Jordan was jolted awake, this time not only was her home phone ringing, her cell and pager had joined in,

"Okay, okay, I get the message" she said aloud

Reaching over she picked up her home phone,

"I am not interested in anything you are selling, I don't need a magic mop or a juicer – in fact I barely remember the last time I drank anything that didn't contain caffeine…"

"Jordan!" Garret interrupted her,

"Oh, Garret, it's you!"

"Who else would it be?" He replied gruffly,

"Sorry, what can I do for you that I can't do in two hours when my shift starts?"

"You can get in here right now; Walcott wants to talk with you!"

"Geez Garret, what have I done now?"

"Just get in here now, you have 30 minutes" with that Garret slammed the phone down on her.

Jordan rolled her eyes and got up, _what's bitten his ass this morning?_, she thought. Yawning, she dressed, quickly heated some day old coffee, jumped into her car and headed towards the morgue.

"This is definitely not a good way to start the day" she grumbled to herself as she sat at some lights. Tapping her fingers impatiently on the steering wheel she tried to figure out why Garret was pissed with her, and what Walcott wanted, she hadn't got through all the paperwork she was meant to do, but that was no reason for the DA to be involved, she knew she had completed the paperwork on the Peru correctly, he was the only case she had that Walcott was involved in. Jordan was no clearer idea on the summoning 20 minutes later as she turned into the morgue parking lot, she didn't really want to step into the elevator not knowing what awaited her, taking a deep breath she stepped in and pushed the button.


	4. Save It!

Jordan walked into the morgue,

"Morning luv. Haven't we got ourselves into a little pickle?"

"Shut up Nige!" Jordan snapped back as she headed towards Macy's office. She opened the door, knocking briefly to signal her arrival, she was greeted by the cold piercing glare of Renee Walcott and an obviously very angry Garret Macy,

"So, Dr. Cavanaugh what go you have to say for yourself?"

"I have no idea what you arte talking about" Jordan replied innocently to the DA's question.

"You mean to tell me that you have no idea where he got his information from?"

"Where _who_ got _what_ information?" Jordan responded, getting annoyed at the DA's accusing tone.

"Jordan this is no time to be smart" snapped Garret.

"Garret I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. You called me at 7am and ordered me to come in. I am here and now you and _Miss_ Walcott are accusing me of something I know nothing about' Jordan stated, raising her voice.

"Here" replied Garret throwing a copy of the day's newspaper at Jordan.

Jordan turned the newspaper over a read the headline – _City Hall Cover Up_ – her eyes then glanced at the subheading – _Rookie Cop Shoots Jewell Thief Execution Style_ - Jordan rolled her eyes, she didn't have to look at the byline,

"Pollack"

"Yes, Pollack, your boyfriend," replied Renee, the anger in her tone was obvious, "how did your boyfriend, the reporter; get his hands on this information?"

"He must've looked at the file when I left it at home yesterday. I asked him to bring it in, and he must have read it then" Jordan said, in a vein attempt to defend herself, she could feel the anger boiling insider her, this was all she needed, Pollack had gone too far.

"I have to go and sort this mess out" said Renee, interrupting Jordan's train of though, Renee turned to Garret "I trust you will deal with her," glancing briefly towards Jordan, "goodbye" she got up and walked out of the office, stopping short of slamming the door behind her.

"Garret, I'm so-"

"Save it Jordan," barked Garret, "I've got work to do, go and stay in your office and do paperwork until I decide what to do with you" with that Garret sat down at his desk and without a second glance at Jordan he opened a manila folder.

Left opened mouthed Jordan knew that there was nothing more she could say, she turned towards the door, as she was leaving she heard Garret mutter,

"And if I see that reporter around here there will be hell to pay."

Jordan shut the door to Macy's office quietly behind her. _Great,_ she thought, _I'm going to be doing paperwork until I retire._ Jordan had been in trouble before, but she couldn't remember Garret really siding with the DA, _this was not good_, Jordan thought as she pulled the newspaper from under her arm, she read the remainder of the article as she walked the corridor to her office. Pollack had really crossed the line this time, he has written everything, all the small details that were in her report on Peru, even the insignificant things she had jotted down on pieces of paper, but removed before handing the report in. Pollack had even managed to twist the story to make it sound as if the shooting was an execution, rather than a robbery take down, Peru had become the hero! _This was the last straw_, Jordan thought to herself as she slammed the door to her office.


	5. End Of The Affair

"Morning babe, I didn't realize you were already here, I was going to set up breakfast for you" greeted JD with a smile,

Without blinking with surprise at his presence in her office Jordan threw the newspaper square in his chest,

"What the hell were you thinking!" she shouted at him,

"Come on babe, its front page gold, how could I not?" JD stated calmly, moving towards her,

Jordan moved away from him, she strode behind her desk,

"That information was confidential"

"You left it there; it was begging me to sneak a peak" the calmness in JD's voice was astonishing to Jordan, her anger at him was really boiling, yet he merely looked at her with an arrogance in his eyes, he could do no wrong.

"You thought you would sneak a peak?" Jordan spat at him,

JD merely shrugged and reached into the basket of food that he had brought with him,

"You realize you have written complete and utter fiction! None of this information is correct!"

"Look, babe, I just wrote what I read!"

"And you don't care that what you have written is complete trash?"

"Cavanaugh, why are you getting your undies in a twist about this?"

"Why am I what? Never mind," Jordan was attempting to restrain herself "Do you know how much trouble I am in because of this?"

"Come on, they'll sort it out"

"They'll sort it out?" she replied imitating his accent, "My career is in jeopardy because of you" she could feel her voice rising,

"That's nothing new!" JD snapped back,

"How dare you? You don't realize what you have done, do you? Not only have you placed my career at risk, you have probably screwed up this young cop's career as well"

"The story had to get out there, Cavanaugh; City Hall was trying to cover it up!"

"You don't care do you?" Jordan was shouting at him now, "This will only be the second cop's career you've messed with, but you don't care who you hurt, it's all about the headline for you, isn't it?"

"Oh, I see what this is about," his voice had lowered, "it's about him."

"What the hell are you talking about? This is about nobody except you and your complete and utter lack of consideration for anyone but yourself!"

"No, Cavanaugh. This is about the cowboy cop!"

"Do not tell me what this is about Pollack." The anger that had been building inside Jordan for the past week was coming to the surface,

"You're looking for an excuse."

"An excuse for what?"

"An excuse to run and hop back into bed with him."

"Shut up!" Jordan snapped, JD had pushed one too many buttons, and he knew it "You know absolutely nothing!"

"I'm just the rebound guy aren't I? Your pretty cop boyfriend broke your heart, so you hook up with me; make him jealous so when you go running back to him, he'll greet you with open arms!" JD was shouting as loudly as Jordan now.

"How dare you assume anything? If you think that, then you know absolutely nothing about me!"

"Well, if I know nothing about you, I may as well go then, because you obviously don't want me to know anything about you!" JD turned to leave.

"Don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out!"

"Go back to Woody _Jordan_! I hope you have a happy life together" JD spat sarcastically at her as he opened her office door, outside a crowd had gathered, overhearing every word of the argument that had occurred inside,

"Yeah! For your information, Woody and I have never slept together!" screamed Jordan back to him, as he slammed the door to her office she picked up the stapler from her desk and threw it after him; it hit the glass, shattering it. She slumped back into her chair, placing her hands on her head.

"Jordan, are you alright?" said Lily compassionately as she stepped through the empty glass frame.

"Yeah, I'll be fine" Jordan looked up, her eyes glazed over with angry tears, "Oops" she said with a small smile, looking at the door "Garret's really going to have my ass now"

"Its fine Jordan, just go home" her boss said to her, appearing in the doorway "We'll fix this and deal with it tomorrow"

"Thanks" Jordan stood up, received a hug from Lily and gave Garret a quick peck on the cheek, grabbing her keys she heading towards the elevator, the crowd parting as she passed.

The elevator doors opened as Jordan reached them, she looked up and saw Woody step out, she adverted her eyes quickly,

"Jordan, hey"

"Hey" Jordan passed him and quickly pressed the button to the parking lot, as the doors shut she heard Woody ask,

"Jordan, are y…Wow, what did I miss?"

Jordan didn't want to know what the answer to his question was going to be, or who was going to give it him, she just wanted to go home, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath and let the elevator take her down to her car and her apartment.

Finis

Okay, I know I have ended it open. But hey, that's how many Crossing Jordan episodes end.

Thank you for reading my fanfic – NOW GO REVIEW!


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